Posts Tagged television
Journal of American Rocket Science Accuses Televangelist Pat Robertson of Suppressing Rush Limbaugh’s Devil Pact
Posted by Administrator in Entertainment, Religion on January 20th, 2010
Carefully researched information by the Journal of American Rocket Science has revealed that Televangelist Pat Robertson has known for years that political animation figure Rush Limbaugh rid himself of his addiction to painkiller drugs by pleading with the devil to exorcise him of his troublesome habit. Robertson, however, has hidden his awareness of Limbaugh’s recovery, which he was told by the devil himself when the Hades honcho decided to tease the faux-religious Robertson about his comrade.
In return for freeing him of his drug habit, Limbaugh agreed to do all in his power to bring down America with his hyper-weirdo vitriolic attacks. Since Robertson has the same motives to demonstrate divine punishment for what he believes liberals have done to the nation, the Journal of American Rocket Science questions if this is why Robertson, in a pact of his own with Rush, for once is keeping quiet.
Governor Pawlenty to Minnesota: “The future for this state is to become Mayberry RFD”
Posted by Administrator in Volume II on June 5th, 2007
Pointing out that the nation’s happier times has been no better reflected than in the 1960s TV program Mayberry RFD, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty will soon announce in a prepared statement: “If you’ve watched my modus operandi in government, you’ll see I’m not starving the state’s economic development, education system and culture by cutting taxes – I’m preparing for our state’s future – we can become the next Mayberry RFD.”
“Life was simpler then, but our nation was also happier then,” the governor stated, “ So if we become simpler, we will be happier.”
Pawlenty pledged he will continue to strip away appeasement programs like health care, complicated education systems, and needless light rail and extra traffic lanes. Pawlenty sees his role as a governor taking on the image of Andy Griffith, who played Sheriff Andy Taylor who also acted as mayor, making everyday problems uncomplicated, without government intervention. Law and order can be simplified as well, and as a gesture to bipartisanship, Pawlenty will ask former Democratic U.S. Senator Mark Dayton to assume the role of always-nervous Deputy Barney Fife, as played on the TV sshow by Don Knotts.
Only one educational program will be needed, Pawlenty noted, “We’’ll get language classes in operation that will teach southern drawl as a second language.”
Critics of the governor who obtained advance copies of Pawlenty’s upcoming announcement complained that bringing back the state to Mayberry RFD times will mean no highly convenient ATM machines. Another issue will be the role of guns in this back-world. In the TV Mayberry, Sheriff Andy Taylor issued only one bullet to his deputy that he had to keep not in his gun but in a shirt pocket. The NRA will not be pleased.
