Posts Tagged politics
The Michele Bachmann Appointment Calendar
Posted by Administrator in Local, Politics on April 9th, 2009

Now – available from the Journal of American Rocket Science -
the Michelle Bachmann Appointment Calendar for 2009 -2010
Now you can enjoy the words of Minnesota’s controversial Republican U.S. House
of Representative Michelle Bachmann, as she really spoke them in public.
And printed below – rebuttals by her ardent critics – all encapsulated in this
appointment calendar as produced by the Journal of American Rocket Science.
Order yours now – contact the Journal of American Rocket Science and get your
Michelle Bachmann Appointment Calendar!
State of Illinois and Zimbabwe to Trade Controversial Leaders
Posted by Administrator in Politics on March 10th, 2009


A high stakes international leader exchange will be announced soon, as the state of Illinois is about to exchange former governor Rod Blagojovich with Robert Mugabe, embattled dictatorial leader of the African nation of Zimbabwe.
Both governments are excited to finalize the deal. Illinois political officials say getting the Rodster out of the governor’s chair was not enough – they want him out of the state and out of the U.S., even if they have to take Mugabe in return. Zimbabwe government say their leader will fit right into Illinois politics.
Governor Pawlenty to Minnesota: “The future for this state is to become Mayberry RFD”
Posted by Administrator in Volume II on June 5th, 2007

Pointing out that the nation’s happier times has been no better reflected than in the 1960s TV program Mayberry RFD, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty will soon announce in a prepared statement: “If you’ve watched my modus operandi in government, you’ll see I’m not starving the state’s economic development, education system and culture by cutting taxes – I’m preparing for our state’s future – we can become the next Mayberry RFD.”
“Life was simpler then, but our nation was also happier then,” the governor stated, “ So if we become simpler, we will be happier.”
Pawlenty pledged he will continue to strip away appeasement programs like health care, complicated education systems, and needless light rail and extra traffic lanes. Pawlenty sees his role as a governor taking on the image of Andy Griffith, who played Sheriff Andy Taylor who also acted as mayor, making everyday problems uncomplicated, without government intervention. Law and order can be simplified as well, and as a gesture to bipartisanship, Pawlenty will ask former Democratic U.S. Senator Mark Dayton to assume the role of always-nervous Deputy Barney Fife, as played on the TV sshow by Don Knotts.
Only one educational program will be needed, Pawlenty noted, “We’’ll get language classes in operation that will teach southern drawl as a second language.”
Critics of the governor who obtained advance copies of Pawlenty’s upcoming announcement complained that bringing back the state to Mayberry RFD times will mean no highly convenient ATM machines. Another issue will be the role of guns in this back-world. In the TV Mayberry, Sheriff Andy Taylor issued only one bullet to his deputy that he had to keep not in his gun but in a shirt pocket. The NRA will not be pleased.