Posts Tagged governor
What is Gov. Sarah Palin Hiding?
Posted by Administrator in Politics on July 6th, 2009
Just as South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s initial subterfuge of being away from his office to be hiking on the Appalachian Trail proved false, so may his second alibi – floozing around with an Argentine temptress.
Meanwhile, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s abrupt announcement to quickly depart from the capitol statehouse is spurring rumors she may be heading off a scandal. So – did the South Carolina gov really head for Alaska instead of South America?
Mark Trail Out of Contact Range on Appalachian Trail Searching for Gov. Mark Sanford
Posted by Administrator in Politics on July 1st, 2009
While most Americans are now up to date minute by minute with the travails of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s affair with his South American mistress, famed outdoorsman Mark Trail has not been heard from since he left for an assignment over a week ago to meet Sanford and escort him along the Appalachian Trail. Favoring his utility knife in place of a cell phone, Mark Trail is assumed to be looking for traces of the now-infamous governor, whom he was supposed to meet at a designated point along the rambling mountainous route.
Satellite sightings of the intrepid outdoorsman have so far proved unsuccessful, and Homeland Security searches likewise have not been effective. However, Mark’s wife Cherry will send out his beloved dog Andy tomorrow.
Governor Pawlenty to Minnesota: “The future for this state is to become Mayberry RFD”
Posted by Administrator in Volume II on June 5th, 2007
Pointing out that the nation’s happier times has been no better reflected than in the 1960s TV program Mayberry RFD, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty will soon announce in a prepared statement: “If you’ve watched my modus operandi in government, you’ll see I’m not starving the state’s economic development, education system and culture by cutting taxes – I’m preparing for our state’s future – we can become the next Mayberry RFD.”
“Life was simpler then, but our nation was also happier then,” the governor stated, “ So if we become simpler, we will be happier.”
Pawlenty pledged he will continue to strip away appeasement programs like health care, complicated education systems, and needless light rail and extra traffic lanes. Pawlenty sees his role as a governor taking on the image of Andy Griffith, who played Sheriff Andy Taylor who also acted as mayor, making everyday problems uncomplicated, without government intervention. Law and order can be simplified as well, and as a gesture to bipartisanship, Pawlenty will ask former Democratic U.S. Senator Mark Dayton to assume the role of always-nervous Deputy Barney Fife, as played on the TV sshow by Don Knotts.
Only one educational program will be needed, Pawlenty noted, “We’’ll get language classes in operation that will teach southern drawl as a second language.”
Critics of the governor who obtained advance copies of Pawlenty’s upcoming announcement complained that bringing back the state to Mayberry RFD times will mean no highly convenient ATM machines. Another issue will be the role of guns in this back-world. In the TV Mayberry, Sheriff Andy Taylor issued only one bullet to his deputy that he had to keep not in his gun but in a shirt pocket. The NRA will not be pleased.
