Posts Tagged cars

Apple Chief Steve Jobs Blames Toyota for New iPhone 4 Signal Loss Problems

2010_07_prius In a teleconference scheduled for this evening, Apple CEO Steve Jobs will lay the blame for the new iPhone 4 signal loss problems on Toyota: specifically, Toyota’s digital braking and acceleration systems, which cause electronic interference with the iPhone 4’s sensitive antenna, thus causing some dropped calls.

According to Jobs, Apple has “proof positive” after extensive testing. He notes that no other automobile causes this situation, but that Toyota vehicles can—even from several hundred feet away.

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Journal of American Rocket Science Now Has Lots of Rusty Pickup Trucks for Sale for Republicans Seeking Voters

Ford
If you are a Republican political office seeker, you have seen how Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown secured his recent election as a Republican by driving a worn-out pickup truck all around the state. And very recently, another Republican, Tom Emmer of Minnesota gained his endorsement for a gubernatorial bid, and also owns an aged Ford pickup truck that the press has reported has over 200,000 miles.

You can visit the Journal of American Rocket Science’s exclusive pickup truck lot, and select a vintage pickup, covered with eye-catching rust and faded paint, and those voters will know you are no opulent life-styled wealthy big shot, but just as common as any independent voter.

Hurry while supplies last! Just bring your campaign finance director and checkbook, and pick the truck with the right instant charisma for you! Our prices will be worth your investment, and for no extra charge, we will store your shiny SUV or town car in an undisclosed location until you need it after the election! Hurry while supplies last!

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Now! Available for your Toyota! DASHBOARD BUDDHA

Dashboard BuddaFollowing over a half-century’s successes Christianity has had with dashboard likenesses of Christ, the Journal of American Rocket Science has developed a solution that can get you through the many crises you may be having just getting your Toyota from home to work.

The Journal of American Rocket Science has developed the dashboard Buddha* for the Toyota Corporation, and the auto dealers can install one in your Toyota for much less than the cost of accelerator pedal replacement or brake repairs.

Make your appointment now!

*Safe for church parking lots

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….. And One Giant Hot Dog for Mankind

2009_07_wienermobile
Forty years after the Apollo 11 moon landing, a landing approach in a Wisconsin driveway didn’t go so well.

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Think About Honking

thinkabouthonking

Bumper Sticker Seen on Franklin Avenue, Minneapolis, MN

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Endangered Species – Hummer Dealerships

2009_03_hummervilleA prominent and potent symbol of the culmination of Twentieth Century American culture – the Hummer – is disappearing from the highways and parking lots of this nation.

Inevitably, those ostentatious Hummer dealership show places that sold them will likewise become endangered roadside architecture. When these provocatively designed structures located near freeways, disintegrate into the fields, America will have lost the spirit that defined who we are – or were.

Many Hummer dealerships have closed, and their signature overtly curving up and down ramps, with their old-time timber fences, no longer display mighty Hummers humping up at their moment of climax. Instead, weeds sprout through parking lot asphalt, and wind-blown McDonald wrappers are scattered against the large glass show windows that now only reveal a history of lost ideals.
Historic preservation should step up to the plate, and rescue these Hummer Dealerships; convert these structures into Hummer Interpretive Museums, so that future generations can gain the sense of what late Twentieth Century America was all about.

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