Archive for category Religion
Journal of American Rocket Science Accuses Televangelist Pat Robertson of Suppressing Rush Limbaugh’s Devil Pact
Posted by Administrator in Entertainment, Religion on January 20th, 2010
Carefully researched information by the Journal of American Rocket Science has revealed that Televangelist Pat Robertson has known for years that political animation figure Rush Limbaugh rid himself of his addiction to painkiller drugs by pleading with the devil to exorcise him of his troublesome habit. Robertson, however, has hidden his awareness of Limbaugh’s recovery, which he was told by the devil himself when the Hades honcho decided to tease the faux-religious Robertson about his comrade.
In return for freeing him of his drug habit, Limbaugh agreed to do all in his power to bring down America with his hyper-weirdo vitriolic attacks. Since Robertson has the same motives to demonstrate divine punishment for what he believes liberals have done to the nation, the Journal of American Rocket Science questions if this is why Robertson, in a pact of his own with Rush, for once is keeping quiet.
New Research
Posted by Administrator in Religion on October 12th, 2009
The Journal of American Science editors found this reference during recent research:
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Amish Built Space Shuttle Now Under Construction
Posted by Administrator in Religion, Science on March 12th, 2009
Bowing to pressure by Creationists who have increasingly been calling much of science to be wishy-washy theory invented by atheists without basis in religious belief, NASA has commissioned the Amish to build the next space shuttle. At this time, Amish carpenters are wielding hand saws, hammers and hand-driven drills to craft a huge oak-clad space ship destined for the climes of outer space.
Meanwhile, a creationist-based flight school based at Bob Jones University is preparing a crew to navigate the wood structured shuttle with “intelligent navigation,” based on bible texts and inspirational hymns. Given the Amish prohibition against using electricity, the flight crew will operate the shuttle with ropes and pulleys, illuminated by candles.
Despite some measure of skepticism by the traditional hard science –oriented NASA administrators, one of the engineers, who goes by the name Moondog Aquarius, claims he hasn’t been as excited about space travel since his former days as a Malibu surfer, when he traveled up and down southern California beaches in his now classic 1940s wood-sided Mercury station wagon. “Hey man,” he exclaims, “ those Amish are so retro - building a woodie to shoot into space – that’s totally scape!”
Creation Science Can Now Instruct Young Students with Stork Theory
Posted by Administrator in Religion, Science on April 26th, 2005
Design for Preservation has developed an add-on teaching supplement for
creation science curriculum to be used by schools in conservative
school districts. Stork Theory will present young minds with the
fundamentals of childbirth, to educate how babies come into the world.
The course material is theory based, as applied science aspects are not
important, such as how storks can fly through closed windows during
their deliveries, is unnecessary. Course material will also be text
only, with no illustrations needed, as no actual photography is
available to date. Lab sessions with actual storks will not be part of
the teaching process, as a measure to appease liberals who would want
no storks harmed during such procedures.
Although the curriculum is designed for elementary school age children,
Design for Preservation education consultants claim the material can be
also used for college credit at academic institutions such as Bob Jones
University.
