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Rush Limbaugh Mounts Attack on Mark Trail for Spousal Abandonment

In a ricochet moment from his recent shameless castigation of Sandra Fluke, talk show maniac Rush Limbaugh now is slamming a man—not just any man, but newspaper cartoon character Mark Trail. This backwoods nature writer and adventurer, Limbaugh says, spends almost all of his time “battling nefarious ne’er–do-wells in dangerous situations for long periods of time, away from home, returning for one day, then leaving the next morning after being called away by his editor for his next assignment.” This, according to the talk show babbler, makes his wife, Cherry, a wilderness widow—in Limbaugh’s words: “having to carry in firewood, with no one around to defend her from crocodiles.”

“Abandoning his wife, abandoning his family—the man has no shame!” shouted the controversial radio host. “His actions show he is a swamp slut, and not the husband who obligingly obeys his woman, as do the rest of men, like me!”

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Journal of American Rocket Science Promises No More Acceleration of Publishing

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The Journal of American Rocket Science today announced its recent acceleration of publishing research that began in December will level off to a consistent level for the time being. Researchers have also stated there will be no recall of any published articles.

Maintaining quality and reputation is of highest importance, says Journal representatives, as the publication scores highest in satisfaction with reliability/dependability.

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