Author Archive
Steve Jobs – the closest we may have to a deity in these times
Posted by Administrator in Culture on October 9th, 2011
“We don’t have good language to talk about this kind of thing (design). In most people’s vocabularies, design means veneer. It’s interior decorating. It’s the fabric of the curtains and the sofa. But to me, nothing could be further from the meaning of design. Design is the fundamental soul of a man-made creation that ends up expressing itself in successive outer layers of the product or service. The iMac is not just the color or translucence or the shape of the shell. The essence of the iMac is to be the finest possible consumer computer in which each element plays together. … That is the furthest thing from veneer. It was at the core of the product the day we started.
From the article by JAMES B. STEWART
Published: October 7, 2011
New York Times, October 8, 2011
Journal of American Rocket Science Assembling Glitterbomb Rocket
Posted by Administrator in Politics on September 5th, 2011
In response to a request by a society advocating legalized same sex marriage, the Journal of American Rocket Science has designed a rocket that can shower glitter over state capitols that have resisted same sex marriage legislation. The glitter material will be tiny pink balloons, which can hover in the air a bit longer than the typical tiny particles.
The first glitter rocket will soar above the Minnesota State Capitol, the scene of continued unsuccessful attempts to enact a same sex marriage legislation. In fact, the Minnesota Supreme Court was one of the first in the nation to rule on the issue of marriage between same-sex couples. The Baker v. Nelson decision (291 Minn. 310, 191 N.W.2d 185) in 1971 held that Minnesota Statutes prohibited marriages between same-sex partners. The case was appealed to the United States Supreme Court. They issued a one sentence dismissal of the appeal (409 U.S. 810, 34 L Ed 2d 65, 93 S Ct 37; October 10, 1972) that stated: “The appeal is dismissed for want of a substantial federal question.”
The latest Minnesota legislative attempt came in May 2010. Three same-sex couples filed a lawsuit in Hennepin County District Court, arguing Minnesota’s ban on marriage between same-sex partners violates due process, equal protection, and freedom of association rights. On March 7, 2011, Hennepin County District Judge Mary Dufresne rejected their argument and dismissed the lawsuit.
Catholic Liberals to Organize Internet Pray-in For Rapture of Pope Benedict
Posted by Administrator in Religion on August 29th, 2011
A soon-to-be-announced coalition of liberal Catholics is organizing a massive internet “pray-in” event to sent Pope Benedict XVI into rapture. The “Benny-up,” also known as the “Ratzinger Rapture,” will, as the liberal coalition states, “put him into a better place, for him, and all of us.” The transfer of his vestments after the rapture has already been taken care of. It in a scheduled internet auction, Muammar Ghaddafi has announced he will top anyone placing a bid. Stay tuned for upcoming updates. For further details, see benny-up666@gmail.org.
Journal of American Science Update
Posted by Administrator in Politics on August 25th, 2011
Meanwhile, The Journal of American Rocket Science uncovered a news breaking story in conjunction with yesterday’s Borowitz Report, which outlined Gadhafi’s appearance in the Republican presidential race: The Republican Party has begun to plan for the former Libyan leader to become the front runner in the GOP candidate race and will likely pick Saint Paul as a return to the Republican National Convention. “Saint Paul will make Muammar comfortable,” commented a Republican Party spokesman, “with all the guns around him as we had in Saint Paul in 2008.”
Muammar Gadhafi Joins U.S. Republican Candidate Field
Posted by Administrator in Politics on August 23rd, 2011
Hap Lesse, a high ranking Republican strategist, welcomes Gadhafi into the Republican race to lead the 2012 ticket.
The Borowitz Report for Monday, August 22, states that Col. Muammar Gaddafi’s whereabouts was resolved today as the dictator announced his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination in a town hall meeting in Concord, New Hampshire.
While some New Hampshire Republicans seemed surprised to see Col. Gaddafi shaking hands and kissing babies at the Concord town hall, an aide to the Libyan strongman said his transformation to GOP candidate made perfect sense. “In those final days in Tripoli, he was becoming increasingly disconnected from reality,” said the aide. “So I think he’ll fit right in.”
Another important sign: others gave him high marks for his grasp of history and geography, which most agreed was stronger than Michele Bachmann’s.
Donald Trump Will Vie to Become the Next Dalai Lama
Posted by Administrator in Religion on April 27th, 2011
American business impresario Donald Trump will soon announce that he will no longer seek the American presidency and will instead seek what he calls his “rightful role” as the next Dalai Lama of Tibet, long revered as a god figure in the centuries-old tradition of this mountainous country in the Himalayan region of Asia.
The present and exiled Tibetan leader has recently announced that he will depart from tradition and step down from his holy position to find his replacement through a political process. However, according to Journal of American Rocket Science sources, Trump will claim that his recent discovery—that he was born in Tibet at the time the former Dalai Lama died—makes him the legitimate successor.
According to Tibetan tradition, the Dalai Lama as god never really dies; when he breathes his last breath, he is reincarnated as a male born at that same instant. Trump claims he—not the present Dalai Lama—is the real god of Tibet; due to a daylight savings time mixup at the time when his parents visited that country, he is the real god and leader of this holy province.
The now-reigning Dalai Lama disputes Trump’s claim, asserting this is just another Trump braggadocio move. To back up his statement, the Dalai Lama says he has a birth certificate in his possession that proves that Trump was born in Kenya.
Meanwhile, Trump is moving ahead with his plans to lead Tibet and is moving construction crews to the fabled Potala Palace high up in the Himalayan capitol for a massive renovation project. “What a big-ass casino-hotel this will be,” claims Trump, which he says he will rename “Hello Dalai.” Trump adds: “Those monks have lived up there on nothing but prayer, so they will be ideal minimum wage waiters and casino helpers.”
Are you a wine critic? You can make big money in art history!
Posted by Administrator in Culture on April 17th, 2011
If you are a wine critic, you can make big money in art history!
That staid academic field, dominated for centuries by pompous intellectuals, whose writing intended to keep art history safe from the public domain, is now seeking a role in the marketplace. Art history departments are looking for writers who know how to connect with the public with marketable phrases and descriptions.
If you are a wine critic, you can place yourself with the top wage earners in the field of art history, because your descriptions of wine on vineyard websites have the requisite snob appeal upon which art history depends, with enticing descriptions that cause wine aficionados to pull out their credit cards and order cases of wine suggested by you. And if you are not a wine critic, The Journal of American Rocket Science can teach you!
Here is an example: One of our enrollees was placed in an Ivy League art history department with the following description of Michelangelo’s David, a 17-foot-tall marble male nude that was installed in Florence’s public square in 1504. “The year 1504 came in a succession of vintage years for Michelangelo, an appellation which made the Italian sculptor famous for centuries. This statue’s vertical accents combine with a suppleness and power, which can be enjoyed with charcuterie, subtly-rounded burgundies, and red fruit. The sculptor produced graceful, concentrated notes which offer balance and a complex potential for aging, shone well with a prominent nose and a mineral finish.”
Don’t wait any longer—call The Journal of American Rocket Science today!
