Thanksgiving as we have known it since the days of the pilgrims may be a thing of the past, as the Big Box Retailers For a Better America (BBRBA) is organizing federal legislation to substitute a four-day big box holiday weekend, beginning with the third Thursday in November and ending in the final hours of the following Sunday night. “Americans should not have to endure excess unhealthy eating on this obsolete holiday,” remarked MMRBA spokesman Dan Dollar, ”when they can get an early start on celebrating Christmas.”
In the last few years, the big box stores have become fiercely competitive, moving store openings from 6AM the Friday after Thanksgiving to midnight and now into Thanksgiving evening itself, a move that seems only inevitable.
By next year, that traditional holiday song we have grown up with may be rewritten into: “Over the freeway and through the sound barrier walls to big boxes we go.”
