Archive for January, 2010
In a very quiet move today, the United States Supreme Court will incorporate to establish itself as an S corporation. The justices will be using an online program, www.incorporatefast.com, and by tomorrow will be packing up file cabinets onto a Fedex cargo plane for their new corporate headquarters in an undisclosed location in the Bahamas.
“We are taking this move to become a more effective instrument of justice,” a court spokesperson stated, “So we have to become a corporation in order to better serve corporate interests.” The off-shore location will greatly reduce their tax obligations.
As to what will become of the soon-to-be vacant Supreme Court Building in the heart of Washington D.C., the justices are negotiating a long term lease to the Hilton Hotel Corporation.
Journal of American Rocket Science Accuses Televangelist Pat Robertson of Suppressing Rush Limbaugh’s Devil Pact
Carefully researched information by the Journal of American Rocket Science has revealed that Televangelist Pat Robertson has known for years that political animation figure Rush Limbaugh rid himself of his addiction to painkiller drugs by pleading with the devil to exorcise him of his troublesome habit. Robertson, however, has hidden his awareness of Limbaugh’s recovery, which he was told by the devil himself when the Hades honcho decided to tease the faux-religious Robertson about his comrade.
In return for freeing him of his drug habit, Limbaugh agreed to do all in his power to bring down America with his hyper-weirdo vitriolic attacks. Since Robertson has the same motives to demonstrate divine punishment for what he believes liberals have done to the nation, the Journal of American Rocket Science questions if this is why Robertson, in a pact of his own with Rush, for once is keeping quiet.