Monthly Archives: February 2007

Governor Pawlenty turns over State Government to Denny Hecker

In a move totally unprecedented in state government history, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty has announced he is turning over all state government operations to automobile- house mortgage- impressario Denny Hecker.  In his announcement, the Minnesota governor declared, “There’s no hiding the fact that my buddy Denny can deliver state government functions at lower cost, with business-like finesse so much better than the legions of bureaucrats who occupy rows and rows of desks in state government buildings all over our state.” “What’s more,” Governor Pawlenty remarked, ‘”He’s got a more convincing smile than I have tried to have.”

Minnesotans have become accustomed to Denny Hecker’s fanchises alongside the state’s freeways, have seen his advertising panels on buses, billboards, newspaper inserts, TV commercials for several years. To which Pawlenty asserts, “With his smiling face seen by Minnesota residents over and over, he’s got to be a guy everyone can trust.” For the Minnesota governor who has relentlessly pressed for lower taxes, Hecker, he thinks, is the guy who can make his lower taxes – smaller government dreams come true.

In the works, according to state government insiders, is Pawlenty’s own public image proliferation campaign. Soon Minnesota residents will gaze at billboards, TV spots, utility pole placards that display the guv’s smiling visage, with the message, “I’m giving you lower government by slashing, yes slashing your taxes. No other governor can beat my deal!”