Responding to recent criticism that debit /credit card swipe devices recently introduced at retail checkout counters have caused backed up customer lines, the National Retailers’ Association has hired the Journal of American Rocket Science to design a more religiously sensitive card swiper.

National Retailers’ Association officials say these new machines will be installed throughout the country in a few weeks.

_ Yes, this is the right amount.

_ No, this is an incorrect amount.

_ I’m Unitarian – I’m not sure.