Monthly Archives: February 2006

Green Party Attempt to Clone Rev. Pat Robertson with Phosphorescent Green Jellyfish Has Mixed Results

With all the attempts of liberal media and conservative Christian pastors to try to rein in the controversial Rev. Pat Robertson from his wacky pronouncements, the Green Party has tried to neutralize the far-right wing clergyman by cloning Robertson with an unusual species of jellyfish having a fluorescent green glow. Green Party scientists thought the cloning would dilute his weekly virulent predictions of divine wrath on world leaders, destination tourist cities or sports figures, and instead would take on an environmentalist temperament. More important, a cloned green Pat would be a branding icon for the radical political movement.

Although the cloned Pat does emit a bright green color, the lack of a spine that is the definitive anatomical feature of a jelly fish has resulted in the cloned green human being very risk-averse to making public statements that demand far-reaching environmental action. Undeterred, Green Party scientists plan to chip some green concrete off the Jolly Green Giant statue along Highway 169 in southwestern Minnesota to use in their next cloning experiment.